“Kintsugi & A Gold Mind”
I have slowly been getting every piece of life together and with that also this business. I have not generated the logo I envision yet; however, this AI depiction is insurmountably more beautiful in its complexity than what will eventually be a logo for me. There is a story here.
I wanted an appropriate depiction of an important and motivating shamanic journey I went on. It was about 3 years into the mental and spiritual psychosis, the voi
ces were just as loud, abrasive, and abusive as ever. I was seeking a deeper understanding and honestly, relief. I was constantly overwhelmed, break downs every single day multiple times a day, living in a mental hell and purgatory for years completely unrelentless in numerous ways.
I traveled 244 beautiful miles to meet with an amazing Shaman, named Beatrice, with years of study and living experience. Beatrice also holds a Ph.D. and has accomplished multiple studies with various universities, some being in the field of neuro. This was ultimately what caught my attention and probed me to contact her for a consult. It was a dream and honestly a divine interventive gift to have found her when my previous years searches of finding a Shaman to communicate with turned up nothing. “Timing is Everything,” screamed the voices in my head throughout the 2nd year of psychosis, that it truly is. To fulfill this part of my story to its authenticity I messaged 3 various Shamans I found, in deep desperation, 1 in VA, 1 in OH, and 1 in MD. Beatrice was the only one that responded to me, and the only one that needed to, she was who I was linked to see, gain knowledge, and heal through.
I met with Beatrice a couple of different times, the 1st journey session was the most impactful of course, while the others were follow-ups. I had never experienced a Shamanic Journey yet was extremely excited and knew it felt promising. The ritual, care, attention, and overall time and space held in this journey was in a magnitude that I still struggle to find sufficient words for in the human language. It’s a deep feeling of gratitude, love, and learning, not quite understanding, but an inquisitory learning of divine beauty. I admire her so very deeply and honour her so very graciously for all that she is and does to better serve her journey and others. Mine alone had to be difficult, but maybe not, she has her own amazing hero story to tell that makes holding space for stories like mine accomplishing and comforting.
I laid there on the floor, with visceral physical responses, imagery in my mind, tears streaming down my face, eyes watering and even trying to hold them back so she wouldn’t think anything was wrong. Her beautiful chanting, the indigenous instruments, the elements, and directions swirling around me in uniformed poetic versions catered to my ethereal needs. It was deep sovereignty led by a deep nurturing pull to aide me in my distress and journey. I remember soaring pain up my right leg, unable to move as it worked through. Grounding down as she grabbed my ankles and moved energy through. After the ceremony I laid there sprawled out in deep meditation with an awareness around me still to know and observe with my senses. Eyes closed. Time went by and I could hear Beatrice clicking on her laptop like I am right now typing this, I enjoyed the sovereign peace within me. Despite the unpleasant physical sensations that would stir, I knew one day they would be revealed and better understood, if not maybe even that day.
After an hour or so I was called to come back, relax, and join her when I was ready. I was never ready, the detoxing I felt, the peace, the enjoyment of the overall experience. I wish still to this day I could regularly experience such beautiful and harmonious ritual. Once sitting up, Beatrice explained she was ready to discuss the visions she endured on my journey. I was nervous. The first scene she received was myself dragging my own body through the street with my head split open, symbolic to the war between my higher self and the Stockholm Syndrome and brain washing I had spent 10+ years in. I still have the writing from the journey and should certainly revisit it soon for refreshment. What stuck with me most besides the entry scene that was so riveting and disturbing even, was what the beings in the Ethereal were doing with my brain. The light workers, ascended masters, guides, and so much more were working to heal my mind, bit by bit, with Kintsugi.
I had never heard of this. Beatrice went on to explain that Kintsugi is an ancient Japanese art of repairing what is broken with melted gold, to restore make what it was more beautiful than ever. My mind and all its broken pathways and neurons were not just being restored. They were being transformed by divine grace and art. With each repair and hardship, I made it through, processed, healed, and released, new ground work was laid in gold within my neuro pathways.
The picture above is a representation of that. I am still healing; I am still working diligently every day. I get tired and exhausted from this journey and overwhelmed in tears sometimes still. I am mostly out of the psychosis now and have been for over 2 years. It comes back every now and again, but I now know what purpose it serves and what it means. I know what to do, I understand how to honour it and myself, while working with it all the way through to extinction. This I did not learn in the Shamanic journey; this came a couple more years later.
Many stories for many other times. This is the story of Kintsugi and a Gold Mind. I know I’m not the only one, I know we all have this capability when we dig so deep into despair and bring forth the light in the pain and transmute everything in vein. We are all doing this, we are all capable of this. Being a Freedom Re-Programmer within the self and changing the patterns and paradigms that have been created through society, family, and trauma. ✨🙏💛